So I went to divorce court this morning. Not to ax my own marriage, but to support a friend. She was married for three years, but told me after about a year and a half that she felt like she had "pulled back the curtain" and realized her remarkable wizard was really only a man (with a semi-functional lever) who was good at creating illusions.
Hence, I started out my Valentine's Day in divorce court.
My friend's divorce was easy: no kids, no house and her ex was already living out of the country. Plus, it wasn't a particularly sad affair, because she really isn't bummed about the marriage ending. Instead, she's quite relieved and psyched to move forward.
The court hearing only took about five minutes. For me, the strangest part was the huge painting of Aquarius hanging over the witness stand. From where I was sitting, it looked like the water-bearing woman in the painting was pouring out a bucket of water on top of the head of the witness. I wanted to take photos with my cell phone, but knew that probably wasn't a good idea. However, it was an incredible optical illusion, almost like Aquarius was cleansing the almost-divorced person, washing her anew.
By the time we walked back to her car, it wasn't even 9:30 a.m., but we did what one does after a divorce, regardless of the time: drink. Knowing we would feel this way, we had looked up third shift bars in the OnMilwaukee.com third shift bar guide the night before, and picked Zad's, 438 S. 2nd St., as our place for morning poison.
Other than St. Patrick's Day many years ago, I don't think I've hung out in a bar before 10 a.m. Zad's is popular with day drinkers, and we found it to be how it probably is just about every weekday morning: loud, smoky and populated with worker guys. We knew we looked out of place, but didn't get a bad vibe, so we sat down at the bar.
We ordered Bloody Marys that were spicy and good. Then we started talking about the whole divorce court experience, and before long, found ourselves in a three-way conversation with a large man in a knit Packers hat. My friend told him she had just gotten a divorce, and he instantly congratulated her and bought her a shot of Jameson. She appreciated his upbeat reaction to her news. Some people in her life acted mortified, sympathetic or uncomfortable when she had told them she was untying the knot.
Then, another guy in steel-toed boots who had overheard our conversation went over to the jukebox and hollered, "Hey, I'm playin' you a song" which turned out to be Sinatra's "Lady Is A Tramp." My friend and I laughed at this until tears ran down our cheeks.
Before long,yet another guy -- this time a bald man missing a bunch of teeth -- offered to buy her another shot, which she accepted. He wanted to buy me a shot too, but as the designated driver who had to pick up her kid from preschool in two hours, I decided to stick with just one Bloody Mary -- OK, and a beer chaser. After trying to twist my arm, he ordered just two shots of Jameson, one for himself and one for my drunky pal. Before they downed their whiskey, they toasted to "Happy F-ing Valentine's Day."
Molly Snyder started writing and publishing her work at the age 10, when her community newspaper printed her poem, "The Unicorn.” Since then, she's expanded beyond the subject of mythical creatures and written in many different mediums but, nearest and dearest to her heart, thousands of articles for OnMilwaukee.
Molly is a regular contributor to FOX6 News and numerous radio stations as well as the co-host of "Dandelions: A Podcast For Women.” She's received five Milwaukee Press Club Awards, served as the Pfister Narrator and is the Wisconsin State Fair’s Celebrity Cream Puff Eating Champion of 2019.
