It is a celebrity dominated culture, and every night paparazzi stalk the Sunset Strip, cameras in hand waiting to snap a picture of Hollywood's stars enjoying a night on the town.
And while Milwaukee may not be a major celebrity mecca, that doesn't mean we can't speculate as to where the people who fill the gossip mags would hang out if they lived here.
So get out your telescopic lens, check out US Weekly on the phone and enjoy Milwaukee's bar guide to the stars. And when you're done reading head to the talkbacks and offer up some celebrity bar pairings of your own.
Star: Ashton Kutcher
Bar: Victor's
This notorious cougar den is crawling with older women on the prowl. Kutcher, whose May December romance with Demi Moore makes for constant fodder in celebrity magazines and sites, would find plenty of sauced up mature ladies that would gladly be his Demi. While "That 70's Show" has been cancelled for years, he just might meet a gal in her seventies willing to show him something.
Star: Miley Cyrus:
Bar: Thurman's
The former child star caused quite a stir last year when a video popped up of her smoking the psychedelic drug salvia out of a bong and giggling hysterically. She would have no trouble tracking down something illicit to smoke at Thurman's whose Grateful Dead packed jukebox draws plenty of crunchy dread-locked types whose love of jam bands is second only to marijuana and pachouli oil.
Star: Kim Kardashian
Bar: Center Court Pub and Grill or One Sports Lounge
While the no nonsense sports stay might not cater to this reality TV stars lavish lifestyle, these places proximity to the Bradley Center place her extremely close to professional athletes, her romantic partners of choice. While Kardashian seems to be more into football players, it's a safe bet that Brandon Jennings could give her the full court press. In the meantime, she could scour one of the many televisions showing sports for her next romantic conquest.
Star: Helena Bonham Carter
Bar: Art Bar
While actress Helena Bonham Carter mostly pops up in celebrity magazines in the fashion don'ts sections do to her eclectic sense of style, she's the kind of cool and quirky person that fill this Riverwest institution. In fact, Carter, who is married to Tim Burton, may not even be the weirdest person there.
Star: Charlie Sheen
Bar: Solid Gold
It seems like these days all the sitcom star cares about is doing blow and hanging out with strippers. Solid Gold would guarantee the latter, and something tells me the former might not be too hard to track down either. Most importantly, the Walker's Point strip club is easily accessed by ambulances which is about the only way Sheen has been getting home lately.
Star: Kristen Stewart
Bar: Club Anything
Milwaukee's premiere goth bar would surely embrace the gloomy Twilight actress. Her tortured and angsty reputation and rock and roll style would help her blend right in with this Walker's Point drinking hole's eclectic clientele.
Star: Jesse James
Bar: Branded at the Iron Horse Hotel
This tattooed motorcycle customizer and television personality famously got caught cheating on then wife Sandra Bullock with a tattooed biker chick, and announced his engagement to tattoo artist and reality TV star Kat Von D last year. Branded is the type of place where he could meet either type of lady. The hotel caters to motorcycle riders and its proximity to the Harley Davidson Museum would surely be of interest to James.
Star: Cameron Diaz
Bar: Friday's Front Row
Located inside Miller Park, Diaz could watch her latest celebrity boyfriend and New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez during inter-league play, although it might be a little difficult to toss popcorn in his mouth from up there.
