Now that we’re at the official half-way point of the season, the "byes" are done, and we’re ready to hand out half-medals in our mid-year awards banquet. Everybody gets a half serving of rubber chicken. Now, let’s go.
Top 3 Best Coaching Jobs of the Year
3. Sean Payton. Where’s the credit? Where’s the love?
2. Marty Schottenheimer. Overcomes hot-seat status and roster mayhem to go 6-2.
1. Tony Dungy. I don’t care how good Manning is. You don’t just fall out of bed and go 8-0 all the time. Your team needs to stay hungry.
Top 3 Worst Coaching Jobs of the Year
3. Joe Gibbs: With all those assistants, find something to do. Anything.
2. Bill Cowher: Loyalty is admirable. Stupidity is not.
1. Marvin Lewis: A loose band of criminals, does not a football team make.
Top 3 Players of the Year
3. LaDanian Tomlinson. Not quite clicking yet, still has 12 touchdowns.
2. Champ Bailey. Five picks already, and smart teams stay away from him.
1. Peyton Manning. His numbers will forever stand the test of time.
Top 3 Rookies of the Year
3. Mark Anderson, DE Bears. Fifth-round gem with 7.5 sacks.
2. Lawrence Maroney: Power, speed, and attitude. Oh yeah, and hair.
1. Marques Colston: An absurdly cheap gem, taken seven picks from dead last.
Top 3 Finishes Of the Year
3. Ed Hochuli: "The game is not over!" Josh Brown from 56. Now it is.
2. Tampa Bay vs. Philly. Westbrook’s sizzling TD, followed by Matt Bryant from 63. Wow!
1. Redskins vs. Cowboys. Vanderjerk, face mask, un-timed down, Novak from 47. See Bill Parcells suck on lemons.
Top 3 Best "Playmakers" Incidents on One Team -- Chargers
3. Shawne Merriman blaming a tainted conveyor belt for his positive ‘roid test. Uh, huh.
2. Steve Foley getting "aired out" by an off-duty cop in his own driveway.
1. Terrance Kiel introducing most of America to the term "Drank" or "The Lean."
Top 3 Most Predictable Developments
3. John Hall goes on season ending IR for Redskins.
2. Peyton Manning leading the league in passer rating.
1. The Madden Curse. Bank on it, people. It’s real.
Top 3 Most Stubborn Coaching Decisions
3. Art Shell putting Jerry Porter on ice to start the season.
2. Joe Gibbs refusing to play Jason Campbell.
1. Bill Cowher not giving Big Ben a chance to fully recover from any of his injuries.
Top 3 Trends I’m Not Real Wild About
3. Every team with at least 3 guys with massive dreadlocks.
2. The white / white or color / color uniform combinations.
1. Smart-ass coaches who put half the team on the injury report.
Top 3 Worst Stat Lines of the Year
3. Reggie Bush: 11 carries, for -5 yards.
2. Andrew Walter: 5-14, 51 yards.
1. Kerry Collins: 6-19, 57 yards, 2 INTs.
Top 3 Best Substitutions
3. Mike Bell, for Tatum Bell. Ding!
2. Damon Huard for Trent Green.
1. Marques Colston for Dante Stallworth.
Biggest Bitches of The Year
3. Drew Bledsoe’s shoulder pad grabbing second half pout.
2. Kurt Warner hinting he’s considering retirement. Go ahead, already.
1. Chad Johnson’s mumbled complaints following Ravens loss.
Top 3 Guys Who Aren’t Missed One Bit
3. Deion Branch. That first round pick, and a much cheaper Doug Gabriel makes Pats fans giggle like they rooked another sucker.
2. Edgerrin James. What a shock, the Colts actually understood that James was replaceable.
1. Daunte Culpepper. And to think, he went into Brad Childress’ office to talk about getting a raise!
Top 3 Injuries
3. Gary Baxter (double blown-out knees, one play. Ouch!)
2. Chris Simms (ruptured spleen, played at least a quarter with it).
1. Ben Roethlisberger (fractured face, ruptured appendix, severe concussion).
Top 3 Images I Never Want to See Again
3. Al Davis, and his withered, 1000-mile stare in the owner’s box. Eeeek.
2. Joe Gibbs burying his head in his knees on last-second field goals. Grow a sack already, ‘fraidy-cat.
1. Andrea Kremer’s close-up in high definition.
Top 3 Completely Idiotic Peter King Points
3. He thinks because two-point conversions are hitting at 60%-plus, if he was a head coach he would go for it "all the time" unless it was a close game in the 4th quarter.
2. Actual quote: "You figure out the Eagles. I can’t." No, douchebag. That’s your job.
1. Actual quote: "Something just doesn’t seem right with Carson Palmer." Yeah, nozzle. His knee. Thanks for paying attention.
Top 3 Teams So-Called "Experts" Got Suckered Into Thinking Would Be Good
3. Cardinals
2. Dolphins
1. Redskins
Top 3 Meltdowns of the Year
3. Albert Haynesworth stomping Andre Gurode’s head.
2. The Raiders o-line sackfest vs. Seattle on MNF.
1. Dennis Green: "Go ahead, crown their ass if you want to!"
Top 3 Most Pathetic Moments of the Year
3. Randy Moss begging for a trade on Fox Sports Radio for four weeks in a row.
2. Dan Snyder trotting out Tom Cruise as his show pony at home opener.
1. Michael Irvin (convicted crack user) ripping Tiki Barber’s retirement news as a "distraction."
Top 3 Things Which Are Simply Killing the NFL Right Now
3. "No hit zones" on quarterbacks. As it stands, the area you can hit a QB, is now smaller than an average AL strike zone.
2. Instant Replay. More than ever, the refs are simply refusing to overturn clearly wrong calls, without DNA evidence and Barry Scheck as a witness.
1. Completely absurd anti-celebration rules.
Top 3 "Huh?" Quotes of the Year
3. Kim Ethridge: "T.O. has 25 million reasons to live."
2. Roy Williams: "The score means nothing to me."
1. Willie Parker: "We’re a great team, that’s 2-6."
Top 3 "You’ll Never See That Kind of Press Conference Again" Moments
3. Joe Gibbs, mere moments after getting demolished by the Colts, spending five minutes lamenting the fact he didn’t stop the team busses on the way out of town to shake hands with a group of fans at Redskin Park.
2. Kim Ethridge’s gum-snapping, hair-tossing, excuse-making cover-up of Owens and his attempted suicide. "A man of this statue." Uh huh.
1. Bill Parcells insisting to the media: "What? Is one of my players in the hospital? I just got here."
Top 3 Most Tired Acts
3. Chris Berman’s incessant yelling.
2. Chad Johnson. Period.
1. Bill Belichick’s tattered sweatshirts.
Top 3 Songs I Wouldn’t Wish On Even Inmates at Gitmo
3. Pink: "Waiting All Day For Sunday Night"
2. John Cougar Mellencamp: "This Is Our Country."
1. NBC’s horribly misplaced "Football Night In America Theme." What, did they just find an unused track from their Olympic library? I think it would be great for men’s rowing.
Top 3 Best Coaching Jobs of the Year
3. Sean Payton. Where’s the credit? Where’s the love?
2. Marty Schottenheimer. Overcomes hot-seat status and roster mayhem to go 6-2.
1. Tony Dungy. I don’t care how good Manning is. You don’t just fall out of bed and go 8-0 all the time. Your team needs to stay hungry.
Top 3 Worst Coaching Jobs of the Year
3. Joe Gibbs: With all those assistants, find something to do. Anything.
2. Bill Cowher: Loyalty is admirable. Stupidity is not.
1. Marvin Lewis: A loose band of criminals, does not a football team make.
Top 3 Players of the Year
3. LaDanian Tomlinson. Not quite clicking yet, still has 12 touchdowns.
2. Champ Bailey. Five picks already, and smart teams stay away from him.
1. Peyton Manning. His numbers will forever stand the test of time.
Top 3 Rookies of the Year
3. Mark Anderson, DE Bears. Fifth-round gem with 7.5 sacks.
2. Lawrence Maroney: Power, speed, and attitude. Oh yeah, and hair.
1. Marques Colston: An absurdly cheap gem, taken seven picks from dead last.
Top 3 Finishes Of the Year
3. Ed Hochuli: "The game is not over!" Josh Brown from 56. Now it is.
2. Tampa Bay vs. Philly. Westbrook’s sizzling TD, followed by Matt Bryant from 63. Wow!
1. Redskins vs. Cowboys. Vanderjerk, face mask, un-timed down, Novak from 47. See Bill Parcells suck on lemons.
Top 3 Best "Playmakers" Incidents on One Team -- Chargers
3. Shawne Merriman blaming a tainted conveyor belt for his positive ‘roid test. Uh, huh.
2. Steve Foley getting "aired out" by an off-duty cop in his own driveway.
1. Terrance Kiel introducing most of America to the term "Drank" or "The Lean."
Top 3 Most Predictable Developments
3. John Hall goes on season ending IR for Redskins.
2. Peyton Manning leading the league in passer rating.
1. The Madden Curse. Bank on it, people. It’s real.
Top 3 Most Stubborn Coaching Decisions
3. Art Shell putting Jerry Porter on ice to start the season.
2. Joe Gibbs refusing to play Jason Campbell.
1. Bill Cowher not giving Big Ben a chance to fully recover from any of his injuries.
Top 3 Trends I’m Not Real Wild About
3. Every team with at least 3 guys with massive dreadlocks.
2. The white / white or color / color uniform combinations.
1. Smart-ass coaches who put half the team on the injury report.
Top 3 Worst Stat Lines of the Year
3. Reggie Bush: 11 carries, for -5 yards.
2. Andrew Walter: 5-14, 51 yards.
1. Kerry Collins: 6-19, 57 yards, 2 INTs.
Top 3 Best Substitutions
3. Mike Bell, for Tatum Bell. Ding!
2. Damon Huard for Trent Green.
1. Marques Colston for Dante Stallworth.
Biggest Bitches of The Year
3. Drew Bledsoe’s shoulder pad grabbing second half pout.
2. Kurt Warner hinting he’s considering retirement. Go ahead, already.
1. Chad Johnson’s mumbled complaints following Ravens loss.
Top 3 Guys Who Aren’t Missed One Bit
3. Deion Branch. That first round pick, and a much cheaper Doug Gabriel makes Pats fans giggle like they rooked another sucker.
2. Edgerrin James. What a shock, the Colts actually understood that James was replaceable.
1. Daunte Culpepper. And to think, he went into Brad Childress’ office to talk about getting a raise!
Top 3 Injuries
3. Gary Baxter (double blown-out knees, one play. Ouch!)
2. Chris Simms (ruptured spleen, played at least a quarter with it).
1. Ben Roethlisberger (fractured face, ruptured appendix, severe concussion).
Top 3 Images I Never Want to See Again
3. Al Davis, and his withered, 1000-mile stare in the owner’s box. Eeeek.
2. Joe Gibbs burying his head in his knees on last-second field goals. Grow a sack already, ‘fraidy-cat.
1. Andrea Kremer’s close-up in high definition.
Top 3 Completely Idiotic Peter King Points
3. He thinks because two-point conversions are hitting at 60%-plus, if he was a head coach he would go for it "all the time" unless it was a close game in the 4th quarter.
2. Actual quote: "You figure out the Eagles. I can’t." No, douchebag. That’s your job.
1. Actual quote: "Something just doesn’t seem right with Carson Palmer." Yeah, nozzle. His knee. Thanks for paying attention.
Top 3 Teams So-Called "Experts" Got Suckered Into Thinking Would Be Good
3. Cardinals
2. Dolphins
1. Redskins
Top 3 Meltdowns of the Year
3. Albert Haynesworth stomping Andre Gurode’s head.
2. The Raiders o-line sackfest vs. Seattle on MNF.
1. Dennis Green: "Go ahead, crown their ass if you want to!"
Top 3 Most Pathetic Moments of the Year
3. Randy Moss begging for a trade on Fox Sports Radio for four weeks in a row.
2. Dan Snyder trotting out Tom Cruise as his show pony at home opener.
1. Michael Irvin (convicted crack user) ripping Tiki Barber’s retirement news as a "distraction."
Top 3 Things Which Are Simply Killing the NFL Right Now
3. "No hit zones" on quarterbacks. As it stands, the area you can hit a QB, is now smaller than an average AL strike zone.
2. Instant Replay. More than ever, the refs are simply refusing to overturn clearly wrong calls, without DNA evidence and Barry Scheck as a witness.
1. Completely absurd anti-celebration rules.
Top 3 "Huh?" Quotes of the Year
3. Kim Ethridge: "T.O. has 25 million reasons to live."
2. Roy Williams: "The score means nothing to me."
1. Willie Parker: "We’re a great team, that’s 2-6."
Top 3 "You’ll Never See That Kind of Press Conference Again" Moments
3. Joe Gibbs, mere moments after getting demolished by the Colts, spending five minutes lamenting the fact he didn’t stop the team busses on the way out of town to shake hands with a group of fans at Redskin Park.
2. Kim Ethridge’s gum-snapping, hair-tossing, excuse-making cover-up of Owens and his attempted suicide. "A man of this statue." Uh huh.
1. Bill Parcells insisting to the media: "What? Is one of my players in the hospital? I just got here."
Top 3 Most Tired Acts
3. Chris Berman’s incessant yelling.
2. Chad Johnson. Period.
1. Bill Belichick’s tattered sweatshirts.
Top 3 Songs I Wouldn’t Wish On Even Inmates at Gitmo
3. Pink: "Waiting All Day For Sunday Night"
2. John Cougar Mellencamp: "This Is Our Country."
1. NBC’s horribly misplaced "Football Night In America Theme." What, did they just find an unused track from their Olympic library? I think it would be great for men’s rowing.
Steve is a native Washingtonian and has worked in sports talk radio for the last 11 years. He worked at WTEM in 1993 anchoring Team Tickers before he took a full time job with national radio network One-on-One Sports.
A graduate of UC Santa Barbara, Steve has worked for WFNZ in Charlotte where his afternoon show was named "Best Radio Show." Steve continues to serve as a sports personality for WLZR in Milwaukee and does fill-in hosting for Fox Sports Radio.
