In depressing news, Netflix and its fellow tech industry streaming cohorts continue to convince Hollywood to self-immolate. ("Record numbers of people are coming back to movie theaters for 'Barbenheimer'? Well, obviously we should keep failing to negotiate with actors and writers, and push new releases back instead, putting cinemas – our best and currently only viable way of making money – at risk once again just as audiences are eager to return!") But in less depressing news, the Big Red Streaming Monolith is adding a bunch of new stuff to its library in August! Certainly should help distract from my existential crisis, watching the industry and storytelling medium I love murder itself for selfish and stupid reasons!

For those who were bummed out by "Fast X," you can relive some of the speedy film franchise's glory days with the first several entries racing onto the streaming service next month. And as for the exact opposite of those rubber-brained racing movies, Oscar winners "Lost in Translation" and "The Big Short" will join Netflix in August as well. Want to keep cool this summer with some classic comedies? "Coming to America" will come to Netflix along with fellow throwback laughers like "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "The Jerk." And for laughs acceptable for all ages, there's "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2," the first two "Despicable Me" pictures and "Paddington." The service will also get the nearly-identical R-rated rom-coms "No Strings Attached" and "Friends with Benefits," which won't be confusing at all.

As for originals for the Big Red Streaming Monolith, get ready to swoon as the second season of "Heartstopper" will start up in August, as well as another batch of new cases for "The Lincoln Lawyer." And while we're wading through this summer sports dead zone, a collection of "Untold" sports docs – focusing on the likes of Johnny Manziel, the Florida Gators football team and polarizing fighter Jake Paul – will try to distract you from the absence of major athletics.

Want more true stories? A new documentary on the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial will premiere in August – which I'm sure the internet will be very normal about. A new Gal Gadot-starring action movie will also explode onto the streamer in August, joined at the end of the month by a new live-action "One Piece" adaptation. Because that worked out so well for "Cowboy Bebop."

And that's just a handful of the new movies and TV shows coming to the streaming service next month. Here's the full list of fresh stuff en route to the Big Red Streaming Monolith in August:

Aug. 1

"2 Fast 2 Furious"

"Bee Movie"

"Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2"

"Coming to America"

"Despicable Me"

"Despicable Me 2"

"Eat Pray Love"

"Fast & Furious"

"The Fast and the Furious"

"The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift"

"Fast Five"

"Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

"Friends with Benefits"

"It's Complicated"

"The Jerk"

"Just Go With It"

"Lost in Translation"

"Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted"

"No Strings Attached"

"Pawn Stars" season 14

"Poms"

"Terminator Genisys"

"Ugly Betty" seasons 1-4

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Untold: Jake Paul the Problem Child"

Aug. 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Mark Cavendish: Never Enough"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Poisoned: The Dirty Truth About Your Food"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Soulcatcher"

Aug. 3

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Head to Head"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Heartstopper" season 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Last Hours of Mario Biondo"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Lincoln Lawyer" season 2 part 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead"

Aug. 4

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Big Nailed It Baking Challenge"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Fatal Seduction" season 2

Aug. 7

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Gabby's Dollhouse" season 8

Aug. 8

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Seven Deadly Sins: Grudge of Edinburgh Part 2"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Untold: Johnny Football"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Zombieverse"

Aug. 9

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Ladies First: A Story of Women in Hip-Hop"

Aug. 10

"Jagun Jagun"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Marry My Dead Body"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Mech Cadets"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Painkiller"

Aug. 11

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Down for Love"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Heart of Stone"

Aug. 12

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Behind Your Touch"

Aug. 14

"Paddington"

"The Wiggles: Ready, Steady, Wiggle" season 4

Aug. 15

"Ancient Aliens" season 5

"Ballers" seasons 1-5

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Jared Freid: 37 and Single"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Untold: Hall of Shame"

Aug. 16

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "At Home with the Furys"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Chosen One"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Depp v Heard"

Aug. 17

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "My Dad the Bounty Hunter" season 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Upshaws" season 4

Aug. 18

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "10 Days of a Bad Man"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Love, Sex and 30 Candles"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Mask Girl"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Monkey King"

Aug. 22

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Lighthouse"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Untold: Swamp Kings"

Aug. 23

"The Big Short"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Destined with You"

"Sausage Party"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Squared Love Everlasting"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "The Ultimatum" season 2 (new episodes weekly)

Aug. 24

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Baki Hanma" season 2 part 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Ragnarok" season 3

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Who is Erin Carter?"

Aug. 25

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Killer Book Club"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah"

Aug. 30

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Miss Adrenaline: A Tale of Twins"

Aug. 31

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Choose Love"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Karate Sheep" season 2

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "One Piece"

August TBD

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Guns & Gulaabs"

NETFLIX ORIGINAL: "Risque Business: Taiwan"