Bayside resident Mark Metcalf is an actor who has worked in movies, TV and on the stage. He is best known for his work in "Animal House," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Seinfeld."

In addition to his work on screen, Metcalf is involved with the Milwaukee International Film Festival, First Stage Children's Theater and a number of other projects, including the comedy Web site, comicwonder.com.

He also finds time to write about movies for OnMilwaukee.com. In this week's installment of the Screening Room, Mark looks at "The Love Guru" and "Speed Racer."

THE LOVE GURU (2008)

Mike Myers.

What would you expect?

Penis jokes. Scrotum jokes. Rectum jokes. Gaseous emissions jokes. Erections that are inhibited and ones that are not.

Freud would have a field day.

I'm trying to use scientific language here; I'm not sure how much is permitted in this medium. And, I may actually be becoming a bit of a prude, which is part of the price of having a 14-year-old son.

Everything is seemingly permitted in films. They use much more explicit language and they use it over and over again and it's rated PG-13. Then the whole experience of "The Love Guru" is a real regression to infantile behavior.

And, lo and behold, the theme of the whole thing is that regression to infantile behavior is a good thing, it will set you free. That's what the Love Guru, Mike Myer's character, is selling.

If Mike Myers ever listened to his critics, and I would be surprised if he did, this film would be a finger in their eye.

I don't remember if he plays with feces, but I think he talks about doing so.

The whole movie is kind of a pile of feces.

I guess Austin Powers can do anything he wants to do. Someone once wrote about a movie that I did, "One Crazy Summer," that "Animal House" had begun the craze of this kind of movie and, hopefully, "One Crazy Summer" would end it. I felt proud to be at either end of a craze. Obviously I was not at the end. I am tempted to write the same kind of sentence about Mike Myers but I doubt that it will be any truer about "Guru" than it was about "Summer."

As much as I didn't like it when Robin Williams decided to make serious movies, and I don't think it is a good idea for comedians to try serious acting, usually, I would almost like to see Myers attempt something without constant references to bodily functions and fluids. I am turning prudish in my antiquity.

Nevertheless, it isn't really prude-ism. I enjoy a good flatulence joke as much as anyone, and sexual references, jokes and innuendos, aren't usually lost on me. But, I do like them accompanied by a little wit, some intelligence, and not so much repetition. When Julius wants to drive me crazy, he sings the same song over and over and over and over again. It works. It becomes very annoying. Mike Myers has become very, very, very, very, very annoying.

SPEED RACER (2008)

I'm not familiar with the television series; the cartoon series that lasted a little while but, apparently, developed a huge following. So, I have no point of reference.

For the first 90 minutes, that may actually be an advantage. The color, the editing, the stylization and the fantastic driving sequences are stunning and I imagine they far surpass anything that was churned out in Korea for a weekly television series. In addition, the cast of Emile Hirsch, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, and especially Christina Ricci, must be as good or better than any cartoon version of themselves.

If movies are about color and rhythm in motion, and an argument can be made that is all that they are, then "Speed Racer" is extraordinary. For about 90 minutes, the Wachowski brothers take you on a beautiful ride through space, creating three dimensions out of two and adding a few human characters with a story to bring your intellect and imagination along with your senses on their virtual thrill ride. For about 90 minutes.

After that, it doesn't so much run out of gas, pun certainly intended, as you do, the viewer, the audience. It keeps covering the same territory advancing neither plot nor character; and the scenery, the color and rhythm, the view out the window, is so much the same you begin to feel as though you are watching a loop. A loop is when a short piece of film or audiotape is played over and over again. You probably knew that.

There is definite artistry at work. There is a vision and a desire to communicate it, and the skills are there to do the job. However, I wonder how much is trying to be communicated.

I love a great juggler, but I don't think I want to watch the same act for 2 hours, 15 minutes. Even if they are juggling live bobcats and chain saws. Now if the juggler were to start out with items from off my desk, and then add eggs, and then the eggs hatch and he juggles live chickens, then a fox gets in and follows the chickens around and eventually there's a bobcat and a couple of chain saws, maybe a bowling ball, well... you get the idea.

It needs to build. There needs to be a dynamic. If you just watch the virtuosity for two hours and fifteen minutes after about 90 minutes you start to think about what's for dinner or why she didn't return your phone call and you eventually lose interest. At least I do, that is, I did with "Speed Racer."