My memory sucks.

I am actually surprised I remembered to write this blog at all.

I will embarrassingly admit that I started this piece a while back, saved it and then never even recalled its creation or need for completion until I was opening another document and stumbled upon "Blog Memory." It was lying dormant, waiting editing in my Document file, abandoned not from malice or disinterest, but from pure ignorance of its existence.

The alarming nature of this incident indicated a need for some immediate brain healing and investigation into why I seem to be suffering from a lack of retention.

I’ve always been a "list writer." But, these days especially, if something is going to get done, it has to be catalogued on my "list." Even, then I have to actually remember to jot it down on there. Growing up (and to this day,) my mother utilized her "Famous Yellow List," a single sheet torn from a mini legal pad, that inventoried her endless "to dos" while also housing coupons and other important slips within it’s single fold, secured with a single silver paper clip. I took on this modeled behavior, which has evolved into an almost compulsive use of the Reminders App, born out of and maintained due to necessity.

But, I wonder if my dependence on "the list" has contributed to my brain getting lazy. Kind of like GPS has become my inner compass’s crutch. I’ve never really possessed a good innate sense of direction, but now I don’t have one at all. It’s become so easy to plug in an address and let Siri tell me where to go instead of knowing how to get there. Could this reliance on computerized mapping also have affected my memory? I haven’t had to actually remember how to get anywhere in ages! Perhaps my poor recall skills are a yet another symptom to fuel my dislike of technology.

I’m pretty sure my memory has been on the decline since my early twenties. Or at least I think it has been. I really can’t even remember when this all started. My ability to retain information used to be an asset I took great pride in. Or at least I think it was. Now, I can hardly recall what just happened five minutes ago. Or maybe I was delusional in my youth and it’s just never been something to write home about.

I do have a faint recollection of teachers, family members and friends telling me I was "good at memorizing." I believe this was just a requisite reflex of my involvement in theater. I always had to memorize lines for plays. (And was forever worried about forgetting them.) But, here’s the thing – the moment the play closed, every line, every movement – gone. Seriously, I couldn’t even list all the shows I’ve been in, nor recite a single line from any one of them.

This "learning by rote" then extended to school. I think a good deal of my academic success must have been due to being able to rehash facts and procedures required to get by. Well, I don’t have a lick of anything scholastic I shoved in my short-term memory left. Like really – nada.

I also have very few select memories not only of my childhood – but, really of what happened yesterday or earlier this week. Maybe I’ve taken living in the moment a skosh too far?

I eat brain food. I try not to engage in brain cell destructive behavior. I’ve tried Ginko Biloba. I meditate. My lifestyle should be conducive with remembering where I put the car keys or the name of someone I was just introduced to. Alas, recollection seems to be eluding me. Monkey mind is instead, in full effect.

In an effort to remedy my forgetfulness I’ve re-committed to focus. Multi-tasking is putting one of my worst habits lightly. I am constantly doing more than one thing, whether it’s professionally, recreationaly, while I’m doing housework or even while having a conversation. There is a pervasive action of having multiple "tabs" open on my existence. I’m going to see if closing some "windows" has a positive effect on not only my retention, but also on my overall quality of life.

In addition, I’m going to devote some time to working out my brain as much as I work out my body. Maybe some mind fitness will jog my memory. I’ve installed Lumosity and Fit Brains apps, although I am skeptical that playing a video game is the answer. I also have not upgraded to the luxuriously large screen of the iPhone 6 yet, so be on the lookout for a future piece detailing how brain games degraded my already weak eyesight. "Sharp as a tack, but blind as a bat."