{image1}Some women back unexpectedly into motherhood while others are able to contemplate the issue and make a decision. Such is the case with Theresa Eberhage (aka Theresa Ala Mode), a filmmaker, photographer and multi-media artist who recently released a documentary called "Maybe A Baby."
Although she fully intended on having a child when she married her husband Mark in the late '80s, creative projects, travel and uncertainty kept conception at bay. Hence, the one-hour film took nine years to create and was Eberhage's way of determining if she wanted to become a mother.
"We wanted to know the consequences of having a child," says Eberhage, who co-produced the long-running cable television series, Joy Farm, with Mark.
In the film, Eberhage serves up a full plate of perspectives. She documents a woman's entire pregnancy, and interviews the mother of a newborn daughter as well as a woman with grown children.
Even more interesting are the interviews with the women and couples who chose not to procreate. Three of the women seem at peace with their decision. One is a teacher and artist, one owns a bed & breakfast and another channels her need to nurture into her dogs.
One couple, however, seems unsettled and slightly defensive with their decision to stay childless, which gently addresses the potential backlash of choosing to travel lightly.
"I wanted to have this film not only be a personal journey but an educational tool for other women who are deciding on whether or not to be a mother," she says.
After making the film, Eberhage lost the "maybe" and had a baby -- a detail that she purposely left out of the documentary.
"I don't want to sway the viewer with my decision," she says.
For Eberhage, becoming a mother was the right decision. She says the birth of her 17-month-old son, Alexander, has made her more assertive. "I think that is because for the first time in my life I feel responsible for more than myself," she says.
She says he has also encouraged her to live "in the moment," laugh more, respect other parents, hone her time management skills and feel more compassionate and connected to others.
"Strangers connect with me because of my son. He might give a smile to them and then a conversation starts," she says.
In "Maybe A Baby," Eberhage explores the "Mommy Club" phenomenon where women with nothing in common other than parenting suddenly bond and relate. This is an example of the film's strength: Eberhage distills the ocean-esque issues of parenting into a comprehensive series of fascinating interviews and concepts.
"Maybe A Baby" was submitted to numerous film festivals and will show at the 2005 American Psychological Association Convention in Washington, D.C. (Professionally, the Eberhages own Behavioral Solutions, Inc., a behavioral health company.) Upcoming local screenings are yet to be announced.
"By the time a woman is thinking about motherhood, her head has been filled with so many people's opinions. I wanted to make a film that would be objective, factual and allow the viewer to come up with their own answers for these questions," says Eberhage.
So, did she make the right decision?
"I didnt realize how happy I would be as a mother," she says. "Who knew what an enjoyable evening it would be playing with a ball on the floor?"
The "Maybe A Baby" Web site is www.maybeababy.com
Molly Snyder started writing and publishing her work at the age 10, when her community newspaper printed her poem, "The Unicorn.” Since then, she's expanded beyond the subject of mythical creatures and written in many different mediums but, nearest and dearest to her heart, thousands of articles for OnMilwaukee.
Molly is a regular contributor to FOX6 News and numerous radio stations as well as the co-host of "Dandelions: A Podcast For Women.” She's received five Milwaukee Press Club Awards, served as the Pfister Narrator and is the Wisconsin State Fair’s Celebrity Cream Puff Eating Champion of 2019.
