The search is on. I'm looking to find peoples' manners -- specifically those of guys who are trying to date my friends.
Let me start from the beginning. One of my friends, we'll call her Molly, was set up with a guy by a mutual friend. Sounds perfect, right? Instant stamp of approval from a person you trust, so he must be a catch.
The two exchange e-mails and phone numbers and end up running into one another at a local watering hole. A good conversation ensues and the guy, we'll call him Tony, asks Molly if he can PLEASE (yes all caps were used in the text) take her out before he leaves on vacation. Molly agrees to grabbing a drink and offers up two possible dates for a more formal meeting.
Day one arrives and both parties are in the midst of family time. Neither gets away early enough to make good on the date, so they agree on the second evening. The exact text from Tony: "I'll tell ya now. I know I want to have a drink with you Wednesday. But I'll call you Wednesday."
Wednesday arrives and Molly checks in but Tony is busy at work. Molly tells him to let her know if he wants to still go out or not. He says he'll call when he's done.
Means they're still going out, right? Wrong.
Here is the text Molly receives at 9:23 p.m. "My friend is getting divorced. I have to go be a serious friend."
What? No, I'm sorry, my apologies, I hope I didn't ruin your night, etc. ... just a two-line bail out. And to add insult to injury, I talked to Molly this afternoon, and still no apology or communication. Who raised this guy? I'm pretty sure his mother would hang her head in shame.
Thank goodness Molly is a bright girl and saw the outcome from a mile away. She called me up after the "I'm still working text" to meet her for wine at Balzac. I'm glad she did, because now I have good fodder for this blog.
Here is my question to the men (and women) of Milwaukee: Where have our manners gone? What happened to making plans with someone and sticking to them?
I've read "He's just not that into you," so I realize this guy is truly not into Molly, but why not at least be polite about it?
How difficult is it to either not make a date in the first place or cancel in a proper and polite manner?
How difficult would it be to actually make the call you promised, or at least apologize in the text message?
For the record, Molly and I polled about 10 different men that night and each one called bullsh*t on his excuse. Maybe it was true, but it smells of a bad cop out. (And big props to Phil and Pete at Balzac who drowned our misery in a free wine flight and yummy creme brulee!)
I'm not one of those girls who feels chivalry is dead, but I think it may be on life support.
I can't tell you the number of times I see a man walk four steps in front of his girlfriend rather than by her side, or have a guy drive off before his friend (a girl) is in the door of her house or apartment. (Yes, we are worried someone may attack from the bushes just as you drive off; humor us.)
I'm not sure if men realize this or not, but it really isn't the nice dinners and lavish gifts that leave an indelible mark. Women actually relish in the little things.
Walking next to us and on the outside of the sidewalk and closest to the road -- just in case. Opening car doors and flowers for no reason also score big points.
Most of all, show us some respect and courtship. If you wouldn't treat your mom, sister or even a friend that way, then it's probably not the correct course of action with a girl you supposedly want to get to know better.
As for Tony and Molly, I'd say Tony blew it.
Trenni Kusnierek is a sports reporter and radio host who has worked for networks such as ABC, Big Ten, MLB, and NFL. She is currently on 540 ESPN in Milwaukee on both the D-List and Broad Side. Kusnierek is also freelance writing and reporting until January, when she will leave on a service trip to India.
A graduate of Marquette University, she holds a degree in Broadcast and Electronic Journalism. An avid marathon runner, Kusnierek qualified for the 2010 Boston Marathon by running a 3:37:02 at the Lakefront Marathon in Milwaukee.
