This morning, Variety dropped some news that, at first glance, was more exciting than being handsomely rewarded with a pair of Moon Shoes, Push Pops and a trip to Space Camp: Nickelodeon is planning on reviving "Legends of the Hidden Temple."

Even as chairman of the Nostalgia Is The Opiate Of The People And Sucks Association (NITOOTPASA), this news sounded incredible. "Legends of the Hidden Temple" was arguably the best of the kids channel's mid-'90s game show lineup – and possibly the best show on the network period. Nothing was more exciting and intense to five-year-old me than watching these kids race through Olmec's temple, bounding around ancient obstacles, risking certain death by going into The Dark Forest and never ever solving the three-piece puzzle in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey – all in the name of getting a plastic trinket and a trip to Key Largo.

Twenty years later, that still sounds like awesome entertainment. I'd totally be up for a new generation of watching the Silver Snakes reign victoriously over all of Olmec's temple challenges (screw the Red Jaguars; nobody likes those chumps) and seeing that old styrofoam boulder-face share myths and stories from history. 

Alas, like its own Shrine of the Silver Monkey puzzle, Nickelodeon bumbled what seemed like an easy win. 

The Variety report goes on to say that Nickelodeon is reviving the classic game show ... as an original live-action TV movie. "Hey Arnold," one of Nickelodeon's several '90s animated hits, will also get the TV movie revival treatment. 

According to the report, the film will follow the basic outline of the original game show, following kids (three siblings in this case) who must survive and conquer several obstacles, with callbacks to the original show – including Olmec, the Steps of Knowledge and the various team names – scattered about. No word on whether Kirk Fogg will return for a cameo, as well.

Sure, sounds like a fine enough premise for a kids-aimed adventure movie. But I have an even better idea: Just bring back "Legends of the Hidden Temple"! The original show was awesome, and as one who wasted large chunks of a summer watching old reruns on YouTube, it totally holds up as entertainment.

But more pressingly, as is the case with most of these nostalgic reboots, who is this for? Young kids won't have any care or attachment to the old callbacks and characters, while millennials who grew up with "Legends" won't have any desire to watch a (more than likely) dopey TV movie that only vaguely resembles the show they remember. It markets to two audiences – and fails them both. 

The TV movie will premiere later in 2016, but I'll stick with watching the dozens of full "Legends of the Hidden Temple" episodes uploaded on YouTube (you're welcome).