He was a member of The Penetrators and had even done a little time before me as one of the many bassists in The Laytons. I think I was last in that lineage, but it's complicated.
Last week, Jay -- who was 46 -- died, leaving behind two great kids. Even if a lot of us didn't see him very often, his passing leaves a hole in the music scene. It's a hole that was once filled by one of the nicest guys you'd ever meet.
It leaves a bigger hole in his family. And Jay's wife Debbie wanted to be sure that I mention, "how proud Jay was of our children, Margaret 11 and Alex 8."
I'm sure Jay had his problems, as everyone does, but I always picture him laughing and even now, as I sit in a quiet office writing this, I can hear his gritty, gregarious laugh.
Jay's good nature is what our mutual friend Eric Beaumont -- who was The Laytons' drummer -- remembers most about him, too.
"Laytons bassists were all the sweetest, most easy-going guys," says Beaumont. "I remember there being some question about playing with or without a pick, and Jay being very good-humored about it. I'm pleased he went on to play with a variety of people who appreciated him."
"Jay was always a joy to hang with or bump into," Mike Benign told me.
"Few people I knew laughed harder or more often -- or was better at cracking up those around him. I hadn't seen Jay in years before running into him and his family at a street festival last summer. In spite of that, Jay showed himself to be the same guy I knew many years before: uber friendly, genuinely interested in what others were up to and then, of course, bringing the laughs. An all-around good human who will be missed."
After The Penetrators, Jay brought his bass and his game face to Dear John, Mean Reds, Daddy Needs A Drink and, most recently, The Money Shot, with his longtime friend and bandmate Brian Rooney and drummer Ignacio Catral.
"After a family and a real job as a letter carrier, Jay and I formed the latest version of the Jay French cover band, The Money Shot," says Rooney.
"The latest project barely gained traction, but never diminished his desire and need to play his songs if front of any size crowd. Anybody would be as privileged and honored as I was to help Jay work out his 'three-chord songs of desperation' -- in his words -- and to play with him live."
You can see some videos of The Money Shot in action on the band's Facebook page.
"Jay was a Lou Reed fan and tried to write songs in a common street language about the darker and bittersweet honesties in life; a celebration of humanity's flaws," his former bandmate and good friend Craig Halstead told me last week. "He never wanted much fame or fanfare, just a true voice of his own."
When I heard about Jay, I couldn't believe it and everyone I talked to seemed equally bewildered. It took me some time to realize why. It's because none of us could really imagine this town without him.
"His passing feels wrong in every way," says Eric, summing it up perfectly.
Jay's wife Debbie will host a celebration of his life this weekend for friends and family at a local park. All she's asking them to bring is a memory of Jay. For those that knew him, that's a pretty easy assignment.
I hope that you'll share your memories of Jay here using the Talkback feature below.
Born in Brooklyn, N.Y., where he lived until he was 17, Bobby received his BA-Mass Communications from UWM in 1989 and has lived in Walker's Point, Bay View, Enderis Park, South Milwaukee and on the East Side.
He has published three non-fiction books in Italy – including one about an event in Milwaukee history, which was published in the U.S. in autumn 2010. Four more books, all about Milwaukee, have been published by The History Press.
With his most recent band, The Yell Leaders, Bobby released four LPs and had a songs featured in episodes of TV's "Party of Five" and "Dawson's Creek," and films in Japan, South America and the U.S. The Yell Leaders were named the best unsigned band in their region by VH-1 as part of its Rock Across America 1998 Tour. Most recently, the band contributed tracks to a UK vinyl/CD tribute to the Redskins and collaborated on a track with Italian novelist Enrico Remmert.
He's produced three installments of the "OMCD" series of local music compilations for OnMilwaukee.com and in 2007 produced a CD of Italian music and poetry.
In 2005, he was awarded the City of Asti's (Italy) Journalism Prize for his work focusing on that area. He has also won awards from the Milwaukee Press Club.
He has be heard on 88Nine Radio Milwaukee talking about his "Urban Spelunking" series of stories, in that station's most popular podcast.
