As I've been a homeowner since 2002, I knew I had one of these weekends coming. It was the kind in which I was just hoping for Monday morning to roll around so I could go back to the peace and quiet of work.
The drama began brewing a few weeks ago, as some may recall, when my snowblower didn't start. I took it in to be repaired and last week, the hardware store told me the fix would cost "at least" $400. As in more than the snowblower cost new.
I spent last week quietly perusing Craigslist to see if I could find a decent used replacement, but not surprisingly, pickins' were slim. Either the snowblowers were ancient, gigantic, puny or sold within minutes of posting. I resolved to solve this once and for all Friday night.
Having done my research online where possible (stores like Menards and Farm and Fleet unbelievably still don't list their inventory online), I made a surgical online and in-person strike that included Sears, Home Depot, Lowe's, Menards, HOBO and even Kmart, just to see. Not surprisingly, these places were almost completely wiped out, and more snow was in the forecast, so I knew I had to act fast.
Finally, with my dad at my side in a consulting role, I pulled the trigger and bought a 5.5 horsepower, four-cycle, singe-stage Troy-Bilt Squall 521 snowblower for about $450. It was more than I wanted to spend, but now the onus is on me to keep it running and in good shape.
Saturday morning, I dumped in some oil and fresh gas and started it up. It worked perfectly. Things were looking up.
Our plan for Saturday night included my godson Eli's third birthday party. I picked him up some wooden train tracks, a little train and a tiny football and headed to the party. Every one of these dozen babies and toddlers are adorable and silly, but as a non parent, several hours of a kiddie party can get a little overwhelming. That's why my friend Corey and I snuck out afterwards for a few cocktails to soothe my jangled nerves. Watching the snow fall, I planned out my ideal Sunday: sleep late, blow some snow with ease, then retire to the couch to watch the Packers whoop up on the Rams.
But alas, it wasn't meant to be.
I did sleep in, but eventually my wife woke me up to tell me we didn't have any hot water. I knew before I walked into the basement that the water heater was kaput. It was inevitable and coming soon, anyway, considering it was apparently installed in 1985. And upon visual inspection, it sat still and cold with a pool of rusty water leaking from the base.
Scratching my sleepy and slightly dehydrated head, I called my inlaws. Dave and Virginia are good at this stuff. They offered to be over by noon, tools in tow. I had just enough time to choke down some coffee and snowblow the eight inches of white stuff in my alley and on my sidewalk, before they showed up. And I did one more thing: I set the DVR to record the Packers game and called my friends and my dad, instructing them not to call me with any football updates.
An hour later, we lugged a brand new, 40-gallon, water heater to the basement. Had I had the luxury of time, I would've done some research on tankless models. But now was not the time to be fancy. This trip cost $300 and change, and the work was just beginning.
Fortunately, Dave operated with skill of a man who'd done this before. I helped where possible, but the process was very much a learning experience. By about 3:45, we wrapped up, less than four hours from the time they showed up from Pewaukee.
Now I was officially exhausted. I plopped down on the couch and watched the entire Packers game in about an hour and a half, skipping commercials and half time. I could barely keep my eyes open as the Pack ran down the clock.
Honestly, this wasn't how I drew up the weekend, but it was one of those "yup, you bought a house, this is what happens from time to time" experiences. And yes, it seems a little less hectic here at work right now.
At least now I know how to install a water heater, buy a snow blower and entertain a gaggle of kids. I'm glad to play "Uncle Andy" again some time soon. But as for the rest, I hope karma stays on my side for a few more seasons, and like the Pack, I earned a "first round bye" on home improvement costs for a while.
Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.
Before launching OnMilwaukee.com in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.
Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.
