Congrats to Rielle Hunter on making herself out to look like even more of a whore than the country was already convinced she was and winning the first ever Sarah Foster Whore of the Week Award.

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past week, you know more about Rielle Hunter than you've ever wanted to. However, in case you've been too busy with St. Patrick's Day festivities to notice, make yourself a cup of Irish coffee and enjoy this little update.

Rielle Hunter is known best for being the mistress of North Carolina Senator and Vice Presidential nominee John Edwards -- as well as the mother of his love child. In her recent interview and racy photo shoot with GQ magazine, Hunter says she's not a home wrecker. She came from a family ravaged by infidelity and therefore, "there's no shock that that would be a dynamic I was involved with."

So Hunter's excuse is, monkey see, monkey do? Her mom did it, so she was genetically predisposed to sleep with married men. Ok, well, honey, by definition that still makes you a home-wrecker.

Let's not lay all the blame on "Miss Oops I Forgot To Wear Pants Today," though. Clearly there is another, stupider factor in the mix. It's no secret that powerful, political men seem to have trouble keeping their junk in their pants and their cigars in their mouths. Women throw themselves at these men, not based on looks, but because of the power aspect.

It's like tequila, one shot too many and women just start panty-dropping all over the place. There is an undeniable sexiness about a man, or woman for that matter, that runs a city, state or country. Perhaps with the exclusion of Kim Jung Il. There is nothing sexy about that guy.

Supposedly all Hunter had to say to Edwards to get him to forget his cancer-stricken wife, children and political hopes and dreams was ‘you're so hot.' Wow. Really? I'll have to remember that one, I'd better write it down. Oh, and I guess I better also write myself a note to oops, accidentally forget to take my birth control pill or have my new married boyfriend wear a condom ... gee wouldn't it be a crazy ride if I got pregnant!

I fear for the child these two produced because clearly there are not twenty brain cells between the two of them. Hunter is so obviously in denial about her role in all of this and Edwards ... well, what can you even say? Very poor form, buddy, but it's your mess to clean up now.

Reading some of Hunter's interview made me feel like I was listening to a 15-year-old spoiled brat, when in reality, Hunter is forty-five. She sounds childish and unaware of anyone else in this situation. It becomes very clear, very quickly, that she is incredibly immature for her age.

"I feel comfortable talking now, because Johnny went public and made a statement admitting paternity. I didn't feel like I could ever speak until he did that. Because had I spoken, I would have emasculated him. And I could not emasculate him. Also, it is not my desire to teach my daughter that when Mommy's upset with Daddy, you take matters into your own hands and fix Daddy's mistakes. Which I view as one of the biggest problems in all female-and-male relationships."

‘Johnny? Mommy? Daddy?' Does she call his penis a ‘wee wee' too? Give me a break. She sounds like a complete moron. Oh, and THAT is the biggest problem in all female and male relationships? It's not horny blonds with master plans that forget to take their pill?

In an interview with People Magazine, ‘Hunter says she feels "such compassion" for Edwards's wife Elizabeth, who has battled breast cancer since 2004 -- and stood by her husband for several years before separating this year.

Please. You've done enough. You don't have compassion for her, you don't care about her, so don't do her the disrespect of even mentioning her name.

Nothing like a pants off, sex hair photo shoot with Sesame Street stuffed animals (even they looked a little appalled) to give your life a little validity. My dear, you may have shagged, tagged and bagged yourself a married, former presidential hopeful, but you are no Marilyn. Do yourself, your daughter and the rest of us a favor and put your clothes back on.

And I swear, if TLC or Bravo or any other network tries to make a reality show out of this I will never watch anything but PBS for the rest of my life. We will all be better off as soon as Hunter's fifteen minutes have passed, which I'm sure will be the case soon ... after she poses for Playboy.

And of course, our man-whore of the week is who else but John Edwards! Such a bright, handsome political power and yet you were too stupid to wear a condom. What better way to make yourself look more like nothing but a jerk in a suit than to screw around on your terminally ill wife and on top of it, get your mistress preggers. Nice work, senator. Really class act. I voted for you, you prick.

As for Elizabeth Edwards, get as far away from these toxic people as possible. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends and fight cancer with the vengeance we know you have. We tend to forget that the song ‘Stand By Your Man' also includes the verse, ‘after all, he's only a man.' Damn right, Tammy. Damn right!