When "Seinfeld" sidekick Kramer found the old Merv Griffin set in the dumpster and decided to resurrect the show with him in the host's chair, he quickly found out that a new format of "Scandals and Animals" was sure to be a hit.
If so, then 2007 also was the year of "Scandals and Animals" -- from Tim Donaghy to pit bulls -- where it seemed every week brought a new outrage.
The short list of shame for 2007 goes like this:
Michael Vick
Tim Donaghy
Adam "Pac Man" Jones
Bill Belichick
Don Imus
Isiah Thomas
Barry Bonds
Marion Jones
Roger Clemens
Chris Benoit
We're talking about mauled pit bulls, point spreads, "makin' it rain," Spy-gate, "nappy headed ho's," sexual harassment, defiant steroid non-apologies, tearful years-late apologies, paid attorney denials.
Oh, and a gruesome steroid and anti-depressant-fueled family murder/suicide.
Oh, what fun we had this year. (Sarcasm = ON)
I hope there's never another year like it.
This list doesn't even include Darrent Williams and Sean Taylor, two young men who were murdered due to nothing more than the cheap bravado and petty greed of others.
Oh yeah, one more. O.J. decided to conduct his own "Dragnet" operation in Vegas. Good work, Juice.
If you want more, you can have it.
Jerry Buss and Tony LaRussa both got DUIs. Buss was driving the wrong way down a one-way street. LaRussa fell asleep at a stoplight for three cycles. The owner of the Lakers and a World Series-winning manager have money and status, they should also have the smarts not to do this. Neither one was punished by his league; shame on those commissioners for not taking the scourge of drunk driving seriously.
Clinton Portis uttered the most hilariously ignorant sound bite of the year, when he pouted that "Huntin's legal" in the wake of Vick's dogfighting arrest; shame on him for being so dense.
Thank you Tony Dungy for proving that being humble, thoughtful, patient and classy does not disqualify a football coach from reaching the mountaintop.
Shame on Kobe Bryant for being such a drama queen: most shots, most points, most trade requests denied in a season.
Thank you Devin Hester for the show. Wow.
While we're at it, shame on David Stern for suspending Amare Stoudamire on a technicality and effectively ending the Suns' postseason.
Thank you, David Chase, for the glorious body of work that was "The Sopranos."
Shame on every dope who ripped the finale. You have a better ending written?
Shame on Stern for burying his head during the Isiah scandal and not imposing a single fine or day of suspension.
Thank you Eva Longoria for being so courtside fabulous.
Shame on Martha Burk who milked almost two years of publicity out of a phony non-issue like Augusta, while her group was nowhere to be found in regard to a real issue with the Knicks.
Thank you Bob Sanders, Ed Hochuli and Tim Tebow for being so hilariously fun to exaggerate about.
Shame on Bryant Gumbel for taking a broadcasting job for which he was spectacularly unqualified. He was widely resented for even attempting.
Thank you, Navy, for kicking Notre Dame when the Irish were down.
Shame on cable companies and sports leagues holding us fans, hostage with our monthly TV bills.
Thank you, Mike Gundy, for a rant that will live forever in sports history: "I'm a man! I'm 40!"
Shame on the BCS and the sniveling college presidents who deny the public a playoff they rightfully deserve.
Thank you, Appalachian State, for reminding us why rooting for David is always more fun than siding with Goliath.
Shame on Michelle Wie and her handlers, enablers and excuse makers -- a bright young talent's future has been sold on the cheap for instant gratification.
Finally, one last animal story, er, insect story: I wonder if the Boston Red Sox voted a championship share to the swarm of midges that caked Joba Chamberlain's face like sprinkles on a sugar cookie? In one swift invasion, they might have helped eliminate their biggest rival, and in turn, ushered out Joe Torre as manager in the Bronx.
If Britney Spears hadn't shaved her own head bald, I'd say that was the most bizarre thing we saw all year.
Steve is a native Washingtonian and has worked in sports talk radio for the last 11 years. He worked at WTEM in 1993 anchoring Team Tickers before he took a full time job with national radio network One-on-One Sports.
A graduate of UC Santa Barbara, Steve has worked for WFNZ in Charlotte where his afternoon show was named "Best Radio Show." Steve continues to serve as a sports personality for WLZR in Milwaukee and does fill-in hosting for Fox Sports Radio.
