By Dave Begel Contributing Writer Published Sep 18, 2007 at 5:25 AM

I love the fact that Britney Spears looks like a wreck, can't sing and can't dance anymore.

I love the fact that a homophobic, family-values U.S. Senator from Idaho named Larry Craig was arrested in an airport bathroom for trying to hook up for sex with an undercover male police officer.

There is lots of stuff like that I love.

But, the one that really rocks my socks is the fact that the Notre Dame football team absolutely sucks.

Is there anything better than watching Notre Dame fall to Penn State and Georgia Tech by a combined 51 points and then watch them get shut out by Michigan, 38-0? That's three games, outscored by 89 points. Incredible.

I'm one of those guys who work to discover my own character flaws and try very hard to correct them. I'm not always successful, but I try.

So, I am trying to figure out just why I, and many others, hate Notre Dame and it's football program.

Let's start with Charlie Weis. In the NFL, he was one of the most innovative and brilliant offensive minds in the league. Then he became the head coach at Notre Dame and found out a big part of his job was convincing young men to move to South Bend, Indiana and play football for a guy with a crew cut and a body that can best be described as chunky. I mean this guy sued his gastric bypass doctors for malpractice. (Full disclosure here is that my body resembles his.)

If you've ever been to South Bend, you can understand why young men might want to go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Weis talks the talk, but he can't walk the walk in college football. He is clearly out of his league.

The next thing I hate about Notre Dame is it's holier-than-thou attitude. The Irish act like it's some kind of honor close to beatification to go there, play for them, play against them and be the Notre Dame network. I mean, how do you think NBC feels about that exclusive contract with Notre Dame?

This is an arrogant football program without any reason to be arrogant. They cry when they don't get invited to a good bowl game. They cry when the rankings come out and they aren't ranked where they feel they should be. USC could be arrogant. Wisconsin could be arrogant. They can back it up. But not Notre Dame.

The other part of this attitude thing is the refusal of Notre Dame to join a conference. I mean, even Penn State joined a conference. Notre Dame just thinks it is too special to mingle with the mere mortals in a conference.

I'm not particularly religious, but this whole "Touchdown Jesus" thing drives me nuts, too.

In case you aren't aware, the stadium is known for its view of "Touchdown Jesus," a nickname given to the large mural of the resurrected Jesus entitled "The Word of Life," which is located on the Hesburgh Library, looming over the stadium mirroring the raised arms of a referee signifying a touchdown. Expanding the stadium had an unintended side effect of partially obscuring the view of "Touchdown Jesus" from the field.

Like I said, I'm not particularly religious, but it seems the height of sacrilege to think that Jesus might be rooting for Notre Dame and approving every single move the Irish make. I mean, come on. The thing is I think Notre Dame fans really think that Jesus is on their side.

I am reminded of the old World War II joke when the German soldiers hollered that God was on their side, to which the American soldiers replied, "That's OK, we're on God's side."

I don't expect any Notre Dame fans to get that joke.

 

Dave Begel Contributing Writer

With a history in Milwaukee stretching back decades, Dave tries to bring a unique perspective to his writing, whether it's sports, politics, theater or any other issue.

He's seen Milwaukee grow, suffer pangs of growth, strive for success and has been involved in many efforts to both shape and re-shape the city. He's a happy man, now that he's quit playing golf, and enjoys music, his children and grandchildren and the myriad of sports in this state. He loves great food and hates bullies and people who think they are smarter than everyone else.

This whole Internet thing continues to baffle him, but he's willing to play the game as long as OnMilwaukee.com keeps lending him a helping hand. He is constantly amazed that just a few dedicated people can provide so much news and information to a hungry public.

Despite some opinions to the contrary, Dave likes most stuff. But he is a skeptic who constantly wonders about the world around him. So many questions, so few answers.