An elephant and a donkey walk into a bar ...

Elephant: "Well, that was painful."

Donkey: "Yes it was. But I voted for it anyway."

Elephant: "As did I. I can't remember another bill in which people on both sides of the aisle just had to hold their noses and vote for it."

Donkey: "Well, I thought you'd be spinning cartwheels. Speaker Boehner said he got 98 percent of what he wanted out of that debt ceiling bill. He might regret saying that."

Elephant: "I know, but it doesn't really feel like a victory. I guess that's because we were all foolish enough to sign that stupid Grover Norquist tax pledge. And we know we'll never get that balanced budget amendment through anyway."

Donkey: "I guess the Tea Party people won't be happy until they get everything they want. You guys sure seem afraid to stand up to them, though."

Elephant: "Well, they do have a point. We've got to start living within our means. We couldn't go on spending..."

Donkey: "You mean we couldn't go on spending without raising the taxes of the rich."

Elephant: "There you go again, taxing the job creators. Why is it you guys always have to play the class warfare card?"

Donkey: "Well, here's the problem. Millionaires' taxes were slashed to bare minimums during the Bush administration, and they did not create jobs. Their wealth did not trickle down. Instead, the economy died. Remember, Clinton raised the taxes on the rich, and the economy boomed. Reagan raised taxes seven times and the debt ceiling 17 times."

Elephant: "Well, here's your problem. You people don't have the guts to govern. You could have raised the debt ceiling when you had control of Congress, the Senate and the White House in 2010, and you didn't have the spines to do it. You wanted both sides to own a piece of it. Well, you got your wish. It just didn't work out the way you wanted."

Donkey: "True, that. So, what now?"

Elephant: "My friend, we have entered the age of austerity."

Donkey: "Unfortunately, I think you're right about that. Corporate austerity – companies are sitting on their cash. Personal austerity – no more credit card debts. Housing austerity – the market is still depressed. Research and development austerity – universities and hospitals are hurting."

Elephant: "And most important, government austerity."

Donkey: "But if everything's frozen, and no one is investing in the next great thing or our infrastructure, how can we possibly grow our way to a brighter future?"

Elephant: "You must have flunked math, Donkey boy. Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security are going to go bust. You can't have fewer people paying into entitlement programs than people receiving benefits from entitlement programs."

Donkey: "They're not entitlement programs. I've been paying into those programs every paycheck since I was 16 years old. And so have you."

Elephant: "Well, the New Deal needs new terms."

Donkey: "Maybe that's the compromise that must happen. Nice to see ya again. I have to go back to my district and try to convince voters that the sky isn't falling. Remember when there used to be an offseason in the political game? There's no such thing anymore."

Elephant: "On that, we can agree!"