Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner in a movie about casino-robbing Elvis impersonators. A supporting cast that includes Christian Slater, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Kevin Pollack, Howie Long, Ice-T, Bokeem Woodbine, Thomas Haden Church and Jon Lovitz. Sounds like a good time. Unfortunately, "3000 Miles to Graceland" gets off to a bad start and never looks back.
In a strange and stupid opening sequence, two large, computer-generated scorpions battle to the death. If it's supposed to be symbolism, it's only confusing.
Russell stars as Michael, a quiet guy who just got out of prison after serving over five years. He stops by a run-down motel in the middle of nowhere and quickly hits it off with the woman who runs the place. Played by Cox, her name is Cybil and she has a young son named Jesse (David Kaye) who was named after Jesse James.
Shortly thereafter Murphy (Costner) and the rest of the crew show up. The five of them then head to Las Vegas. They go to a casino that is holding an international Elvis impersonators convention and rob the place of $3.2 million. From there it's back to the motel to split up the money.
Murphy doesn't want to share the money. He kills the rest of the gang and takes off. But Michael was wearing a bulletproof vest and Murphy gets into an accident that leaves him unconscious for awhile. This enables Michael to get to the money and get out of town. Cybil and Jesse go with him against his will.
The rest of the movie if full of twists and turns, all of which you can see coming from a mile away. This is what happens when people with no previous experience write and direct a movie. In this case, the blame goes to co-writer and director Demian Lichtenstein. Until now all he's done is direct some music videos. His first film is a classic case of all style and no substance.
It's hard to imagine why the terrible script appealed to anyone. The action sequences are all over the top and conventional. Plenty of stuff is shot at and blown up, but we've all seen this a hundred times before. And it doesn't know when to quit. What should have been a 90-minute movie ends up going on for over two hours. Clearly no one knew when to say when.
None of the actors are able to overcome the weak material, with the exception of Costner and Kaye. The former appears to be having a great time playing a psychotic killer and it's fun to watch him ham it up. He generates a few laughs and is surprisingly tolerable. Jesse, cocky and street smart, is like a junior version of Murphy, minus the psychotic killer part, and Kaye is very likeable.
Russell and Cox, on the other hand, don't come off so well. Russell looks bored and tired and doesn't make an appealing hero. Cox looks great but isn't a good actress. Her character is also unsympathetic and irritating, which doesn't help. The rest of the cast members have parts so small you have to wonder why they took them.
It's rumored that Russell and Costner fought over the movie and each wanted a different version to hit theaters. Somewhere out there, maybe there's a good version of "3000 Miles to Graceland," but this certainly isn't it.
Grade: C-
"3000 Miles to Graceland" is now playing everywhere.
