Somewhere right now, a columnist is writing a thoughtful, philosophical piece on the way 2015 is going to prove to be a pivotal year in the trajectory of the world: ISIS ascending, "the dress," the Paris climate accords, the new "Star Wars" proving that JJ Abrams actually has the capacity to build on a franchise's ethos even though he ruined "Star Trek," Donald Trump, etc.

I am not that columnist.

It's not that I don't think 2015 was an important year; it's that no one wants to read that column. Because if 2015 proved anything, it's that nuance is dead, at least in this country. There's no room here for subtlety, for careful consideration of facts and moral gray areas. Nope – everything is black and white, good and evil, winners and losers. So, here is a list of my 15 winners and losers from 2015.

1. Winner: Donald Trump

As I've written, the current Trump campaign is the inevitable manifestation of everything that is wrong with the American right. Racist resentments, celebrity worship and policy oversimplification have converged to make Trump not just a candidate but quite possibly the nominee. This is not a certainty, of course; not a single vote has been cast, and the latest Iowa polls have Ted Cruz in the lead (though ask Presidents Huckabee and Santorum how much the Iowa caucus means). Either way – and I'm sure he'd agree with me on this – Trump is a huuuuuge winner, and by being by far the biggest surprise winner (no one this time last year was predicting Trump) he takes my top spot.

2. Loser: Jeb Bush

In the same way that Trump is the biggest winner of the year, Bush has to be the biggest loser. He was the heir apparent, the grownup in the room, and after all of that, he's losing to a circus sideshow of reality stars and patent-medicine salesmen (literally, in the case of Ben Carson). With Hillary Clinton on the other side showing that the voters are not automatic in their rejection of political dynasties, he has to be hurt that he can't break out of the low single digits in polling, and none of his massive ad spending is having any effect at all. The Bush family looks to be going on with the saddest of whimpers.

3. Winner: Scott Walker

Though many smart people (not me) though Walker would be the candidate to best Jeb Bush in the Republican primary, he couldn't pull it off. But that's good for him – he is not ready to leave the kids' table that is the Wisconsin GOP, where the other kids are happy to let him have whatever he wants. The Wisconsin Supreme Court shut the door on the investigation into his campaign shenanigans, and his legislative allies changed the rules and fired the watchdogs to make sure no one ever challenges his right to engage in such shenanigans in the future. Walker's even rumbling now about mounting a third run for the governor's mansion in 2018, and there is clearly no one in his party right now willing to stop him or hold him accountable for his lackluster governance here at home.

4. Loser: Wisconsin

We got Scott Walker back and all the things he and his party have inflicted on us, from the changes to political oversight discussed above to eviscerating the UW system, from giveaways to donors through WEDC to doing everything they can to push a middle-class existence further out of reach. And, let's face it sports fans, we haven't had a real championship team to rally around since Dave and Rachel won "The Amazing Race" a couple years ago. So we are losers, all.

5. Winner: City of Milwaukee (white residents)

But here at home, we've gotten some amazing things done. It's hard not to drive up the newly refinished Hoan Bridge toward Downtown, where not one but two new massive developments are changing the skyline – with more on the way in the next couple of years – and be excited about how much this city is growing and changing. There's a streetcar on the way despite objections from reactionary losers, a lakefront revitalization and tons of new development in the Third Ward, Easy Side and Bay View. How can you not celebrate this spirit of resurgence?

6. Loser: City of Milwaukee (black and latino residents)

Oh, yeah, this is how you can not celebrate a spirit of resurgence in Milwaukee – if you're in part of the city gripped by an out-of-control murder rate, devastating poverty, unbelievably high incarceration rates and the some of the widest student achievement gaps in the country. The state has no interest in helping, instead weakening the public school district and driving down wages for the kind of work poor, uneducated people who most need support from their leaders.

7. Winner: The Milwaukee Bucks

With a new arena on the horizon and probable development around the area sure to boost the city's tax rolls, the Bucks have quite a lot of buzz around them. A streak-stopping victory over Golden State recently just adds to that attention from an actual sports perspective. Some day, they might even have a winning season again!

8. Winner: Milwaukee Democrats

Remarkably, the local lefties managed to take opposite sides on the Milwaukee Bucks arena deal, and they still get along just fine and still unite around other issues that matter. Part of the beauty of being a 21st-century Democrat is that while there may be pressure to vote or act in a certain way, we still have the big tent. It may well be that statewide there's not much of Democratic bench, thinking back to the last several races for governor, for example; however, here in Milwaukee there are plenty of rising stars and longtime stalwarts who have done us proud throughout this difficult year.

9. Loser: Bob Donovan

Like a lot of Milwaukee alderpersons, it sounds like Donovan is really good at constituent service. But he's been wrong and on the losing end of so many big-picture policy fights this year, from the Milwaukee streetcar (and its laughable referendum attempts) to fights over police funding and reform. He's on a quixotic campaign to unseat Mayor Tom Barrett (while hedging his bets and running for reelection as alderman), and I expect to be writing a column like this next December that keeps

10-11. Winners: Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton

I still don't watch debates; as I've written, they don't change anyone's mind anymore, and they seem mostly designed to generate gaffes and sound bites. But I can't help but think the interaction at the start of last weekend's Democratic debate, in which Sanders apologized to Clinton and pretty much everyone else on the planet for his campaign's data breach kerfuffle, epitomizes the difference between what's happening now on the Democratic and Republican sides. I can't picture any of the GOP debates offering that kind of honest and polite moment.

This is not to say that there is no spark or conflict in the contest; on the contrary, Sanders is providing a spirited rejoinder to the notion we all held that a Clinton win was a slam dunk. Still, the overall tone of their contest has been one of mutual respect and mild conflict over serious issues of policy. Their solutions to the problems this country faces are much more reasonable and come from a place of compassion rather than hatred and contempt for others.

12-14. Losers: Martin O'Malley, Jim Webb, and Lincoln Chafee

I don't know what any of these guys thought they could offer that Clinton and Sanders don't already have. It was nice to see the breadth of the field, though, again proving the Democratic tent is big if not all that highly populated by those willing to jump in to the center ring.

15. Winner: The National Rifle Association

Some time, I hope not too far in the future, I will write that the NRA has finally made it to the loser list where they belong. But this year, like the last several years before it, has proven the unlikeliest of truths: The more that guns slaughter Americans in high-profile shootings, the more guns get sold. And since the NRA is at this point basically just a lobbyist for gun manufacturers, their top concern is playing up the fears that lead to these massive sales. I don't want to make too many predictions about next year (I am too often wrong, so I have mostly just gotten out of that business), but one thing I am absolutely sure of: I will write another column next year not long after another mass shooting incident about how this country cannot get its wits together to sensibly regulate guns. In that way, I think we are all going to find ourselves on the list of losers.

And with that dreary note, I leave you all until next year. Have a happy holiday of choice, and best wishes for you all in the new year.