"Bar Month" at OnMilwaukee is back for another round, brought to you by Great Northern Distilling: grain to glass spirits, handmade in Wisconsin. The whole month of March, we're serving up intoxicatingly fun articles on bars and clubs – including guides, the latest trends, bar reviews, the results of our Best of Bars readers poll and more. Grab a designated driver and dive in!

OnMilwaukee's staff has done years of extensive research, drinking beer after beer at bars across town in order to compile the definitive list of tips to make you a local bar pro.

It's a tough gig, we know, but we care about you guys and can't have you making any rookie mistakes out there.

Whether it's a bar room legend, a must-have cocktail or basic watering hole etiquette, we have thought long and hard about what you need to know before you step out in Milwaukee.

Head to the Talkbacks with your suggestions, and until then... Prost!

1. Always tip your bartender.
2. You are not a better driver when you are drunk.
3. Don't move the metal heart in front of Burt Reynolds at Safe House.
4. No, I love you, man!
5. Everyone will know if you don't wash your hands at the Nomad.
6. Be nice to the ghost in the bathroom at White House.
7. It's your turn to buy a round.
8. Don't ring the bells at Old German Beer Hall.
9. Don't trust the bar clock.
10. Share your drinks at Bryant's.
11. Money left on the bar is not yours.
12. Get the bucket of Coronitas at Barnacle Bud's.
13. Expect free shots after Packers touchdowns.
14. Order the Moscow Mule in a copper mug at Blackbird.
15. Think twice about going to a bar with a metal detector.
16. Don't try to order a beer at At Random.
17. The bathroom is not a motel room.
18. Never turn down a chaser with your Bloody Mary.
19. You don't have to be gay to go to a gay bar.
20. Don't ask for a bottle of beer at Cans.
21. The slot machines are for your amusement only.
22. Never touch the stripper, even if that stripper really likes you.
23. That stripper doesn't like you.
24. If you don't like to mix alcohol stay away from the Tiki drinks at Foundation.
25. Because you're tipping the bartender, expect your fourth beer free.
26. And never turn down a free shot from a bartender.
27. Use the bathroom before you go to the River Horse.
28. If you have to close one eye to drive, call a cab.
29. Trust us, don't call that number on the wall for a good time.
30. Don't snitch on the smoke-easies.
31. Don't eat the bowl of bar snacks unless you saw them fill it.
32. Yes, you can bring your kid to the bar.
33. Just because you can bring your kids to the bar, doesn't mean you should.
34. Two words: beer frame.
35. Don't take your kids to Points East.
36. Never change the channel when the Packers are on.
37. Pepperoni and cannoli are never a good idea after midnight.
38. Know the password to Safe House in advance.
39. Remember Ball Game is not your average sports bar.
40. Ask for the crocheted coasters at Frank's Power Plant.
41. They still have the cashews at Blu but you might have to ask for them.
42. The bus will take you within stumbling distance of any bar you want to visit.
43. Enjoy the peanut M&M's at Paddy's.
44. You will not be able to go to every bar on Packard Avenue in one night.
45. Don't be afraid to throw your peanut shells on the floor at AJ Bombers or the Stepping Stone.
46. Don't drink at a bar where they are showing "Wheel of Fortune."
47. Make sure to put your quarters down if you want to play pool.
48. You are hardcore if you tailgate after the game.
49. Drink outside whenever possible.
50. The Lakefront Brewery tour is the cheapest way to get drunk in Milwaukee.
51. Close Wolski's.
52. Putting the "I Closed Wolski's" bumper sticker on your car makes you a DUI magnet.
53. You can tour Sprecher, Miller and Lakefront in one day if you time it right.
54. Don't order a micro brew at Jim's Time Out.
55. Don't judge those who don't drink micro brews.
56. Don't forget to hold hands when you order the Tiki Love Bowl at At Random.
57. Plugging the jukebox during a Packers game is wasted coin.
58. Don't miss Duke's on Water's $1 happy hour.
59. Don't drink anything named after a sex act.
60. Eat the tacos Thursday at Walter's on North Avenue.
61. Know where your friends are.
62. If you are going to sing karaoke don't make it Journey.
63. Load a taxi number in your phone before you go out.
64. For alternative transportation in the summer Cream City Rickshaw is safe and fun.
65. Yes, you can hail a cab, but good luck finding one.
66. Eating a pickled egg won't impress your friends, but eating 20 might.
67. Know the rules before you roll.
68. A drunk seven is a sober four.
69. Trust us, they aren't as good looking as you think.
70. You can get drunk and watch TV at home.
71. Don't hog the jukebox.
72. Clap for the band.
73. And don't ever demand "Free Bird."
74. Don't scoff at a $5 cover charge.
75. No more than two ingredients per drink after 2 p.m.
76. Leave your coat in the car if you are going dancing.
77. Get the hell out of the way.
78. Watch where you step on Water Street after midnight.
79. Don't trust a vending machine condom.
80. Use a bathroom.
81. Don't try to get carryout after 9 p.m.
82. Bringing your own darts impresses no one.
83. Don't try to sneak in booze to Summerfest or Jazz in the Park.
84. Drinking and driving don't mix but drinking and bowling do.
85. Don't be the first to graffiti the freshly painted bar bathroom.
86. No farming.
87. If you see backgammon at a bar you are too young to be drinking there.
88. Guys, don't bother trying to score at Walker's Pint.
89. Don't try to fight the bouncer.
90. You don't have to go home but you can't stay there.
91. Don't bring a laptop to a bar.
92. Don't sit in Wags' stool at the German Beer Hall.
93. Don't erase the chalkboard autographs at the Newsroom Pub.
94. Hair of the dog has nothing to do with dogs or hair.
95. The golf course is not a bar.
96. You know you are in the right place when College Dave shows up.
97. Know what you want when you get to the bar.
98. Just because you are in Paddy's doesn't mean your Irish accent is worth a darn.
99. Sprecher is not meant for chugging.
100. After you puke, you're done.